Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Personal stories are so critical when you've had no life experiences to help you understand another culture. The Appalachian culture that J.D. Vance describes is totally foreign to me, a New Englander born and married within the professional class of academics and scientists. I've driven through all the Appalachian states and even got lost once with weird Google directions that took us into the woods where we encountered a few hillbilly shacks with "No Trespassing" signs. That's the extent of my experience. That's why I appreciated this book. It's not just a memoir, it's also Vance's attempt to understand his own family, friends, and culture. He wants to understand his own life struggles and what allowed him to beat huge odds to stay away from drugs, get an education, a law degree, a well-paying job, a nice home, and least expected of all, a patient and loving wife to share all of it with. He mourns the self-defeating, but deeply entrenched worldview of his people, but he also knows their strengths, and sees hope in the channeling of those strengths toward a better life. He shares both his love and his shame and in doing so, chips away at the hardened perceptions of readers like me.


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Goodreads review of As Iron Sharpens Iron

From Goodreads
As Iron Sharpens Iron: Listening to the Various Voices of Scripture
Author/Editor: Julie M. Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I loved the premise of this collection of essays: Invite several different Mormon scholars to each take two characters from different times and places in scripture, find a topic on which they have opposing views, and invent a dialogue between them respectfully disagreeing with each other. Some of the essays were better-written or closer to my own level of understanding than others, but I loved partaking of this exercise in thinking out of the box.

For those who insist that there are no real contradictions in holy writ--even though these books were penned by often inspired but flawed, as are all human beings, from different cultures over thousands of years, then chosen as canon by other flawed human beings from among other similar writings--I entreat you to take even just the four Gospels and try to make them match, detail for detail. And you know what? It's perfectly fine--in fact, it's wonderful that they don't fit harmoniously together! For these writers, historical or ideological accuracy was an alien concept to them. They had a perspective to share--a story to tell--that helped them make sense of the culturally meaningful stories that had been passed down (mostly by word of mouth) to them.

This collection of essays shows the richness and complexity of the scriptures--as rich and as complex as every human life. Coming to terms with paradox--two opposing ideas that are equally true, like two sides of a coin--is what challenges us to grow up to maturity. Stephen Peck's dialogue between Abraham and St. Thomas about faith and doubt is a particularly effective example. Julie Smith brings Mark and Luke together to express how Jesus honored women in ways that seem to oppose each other. Each of the essays brings out a different paradox for their scriptural characters--and us--to grapple and grow with.

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Nigh onto 50 years of church callings

I am a list-maker. Here's a list, as far as I can recall, of my LDS church callings (volunteer "assignments"):

My church callings, as far as I recall

New Haven, CT Ward

Bishop Taylor

Junior in High School 1969-1970 Primary, Sunbeam teacher (3 year olds)

BYU 52nd student ward 1971-75

Bishop Taylor

Bishop Riggs (?)

Sunday School Gospel Doctrine teacher

BYU (BYU Academy bldg, Manavu bldg) marrieds ward 1975-1980

Bishop Kay Young

(Friends--Roger and Janet Bird, Jim and Jolene Downs, Louise Fitches)

Homemaking?

Primary counselor 

Provo family ward 1980-1982

(Friends--Gail Newbold)

Unofficial nursery helper

DeKalb, Illinois Ward 1982-1987

Young Women's counselor/MiaMaids teacher

Relief Society Compassionate Service leader/Visiting Teaching Supervisor

Primary Chorister

Primary President

Louisville Ward, Boulder Colorado Stake 1987-

Young Women's Secretary

Cub Scout den leader

Primary Chorister

Primary Counselor

Merrie Miss advisor and activity days

Early morning Seminary teacher

Ward Choir Director

Relief Society President

Stake Seminary Coordinator

Nursery Leader with Brent

Relief Society Chorister/Stake Priests & Laurels Activity Leaders

Primary Sunbeams teacher

Primary CTR 2: 4 year-old class

Nursery leader with Brent
Compassionate Service Leader

I debated whether or not to post this GR review on Facebook, but It's too important a book to be kept under wraps. Bringing skeletons out from one's own closet is never a comfortable undertaking, but the skeletons Carol Lynn Pearson brings out are not simply relics of an embarrassing, but safely dead and distant past. What makes this book so relevant today is that these skeletons are NOT safe, dead, or distant. Instead, they are a hidden source of great pain for too many of our LDS sisters and brothers, right here, right now. Carol Lynn has placed the issue out on the table, believing the church is better than this. My hope is that her work will provide a reality check that can be consulted and considered for the benefit of the church.

Sharman Wilson's Reviews > The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy: Haunting the Hearts and Heaven of Mormon Women and Men

The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy: Haunting the Hearts and Heaven of Mormon Women and Men 
by Carol Lynn Pearson 

Sharman Wilson's review 

Aug 29, 2016  ·  edit

really liked it

bookshelves: lds, non-fiction, women-s-issues

Read from August 02 to 16, 2016

This book elicits so many negative emotions, as it should. These feelings come from my ancestral past, from my maternal great great grandmother Lavina Young, who married John D. Lee as a 13th or 14th wife (she and her sister Polly married him on the same day). They come, unbidden and still painful, from a relatively recent personal family trauma. And yet, life is messy, and my feelings can also be ambivalent. My own beloved sister died at age 35, leaving 3 children and a wonderful husband who later married a divorced woman (a good friend of theirs) who took my sister's motherless children under her wing and gave them a step-brother and then two half brothers that we love. I have no idea how all of this will shake out, but I appreciate that Carol Lynn Pearson has looked at this uncomfortable subject so carefully and passionately. Thanks to her, the personal stories of so many women cannot be swept back under the rug, and for every story in the book, there are probably hundreds, maybe thousands more. Thank you, Carol Lynn. You are one brave pioneer!

Today's FB post:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Mar 23, 2016 1:41pm

8 quotes from Mormon leaders on independent thinking - Flunking Sainthood janariess.religionnews.com And this isn't cherry-picking. There are plenty more quotes like this from a number of other respected Mormon leaders, past and (unfortunately not enough) present. We are ultimately accountable to God, not fallible men, no matter how much we respect or want to trust those called to lead us. I am NOT saying the answers will be clear--the water can be murky either way. Sometimes when going with our heart or conscience, against authority, we realize we were mistaken, and they actually did know what they were talking about. Other times, it turns out we are completely validated. The tension between the individual and the institution is a real thing--we are always faced with the dilemma and the choice of which to follow when the two clash, and we alone are responsible in the end. No matter how much we wish for the comfort of certainty and clarity, we must actually grapple and struggle with the tension! The more we practice making our own decisions, even as we make plenty of mistakes, we will be getting better at it, whereas pretending there is an easy answer (whether that is defiance or compliance) will leave us automatons.

More on parenting:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Jan 25, 2016 3:17am

The collapse of parenting: Why it’s time for parents to grow up macleans.ca When I was young, I unconsciously wanted my parents to be more firm with me--I was actually envious of kids whose parents gave them curfews! My dad was really soft-hearted, and my mom didn't want to be domineering like she felt her own mother had been, so we were totally free-range kids. Still, frugality reigned in our house of 8 kids, so we didn't end up spoiled. Talking back to adults never occurred to us either--we hadn't become disillusioned yet about the mess adults were making of the world. I wonder if my teenage and young adulthood watching screw-up after screw-up--the Vietnam War, Watergate, cops fire-hosing little black kids, Chernobyl--made me realize that growing up did not necessarily guarantee wisdom. Maybe the Information Age has been inundating us with so much evidence of our own bungling for so long that we have lost confidence in ourselves as capable adults worthy of respect--and kids have picked up on it.

Parenting:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Feb 07, 2014 12:37am

Why my kid is crying… themetapicture.com I could not stop laughing at these! That said, when my kids got to that point, I would make a real effort to hide my laughter in front of them because it makes them feel even worse. One thing it does show is that you can't reason with little kids. Their brains just aren't developed yet. If they are tired, hungry, or their routine is messed up, what brains they do have are pretty well checked out. They need comforting, not logic. Wait a few years and show these videos to them and then they'll laugh along with you :)