Today's FB post:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Mar 23, 2016 1:41pm

8 quotes from Mormon leaders on independent thinking - Flunking Sainthood janariess.religionnews.com And this isn't cherry-picking. There are plenty more quotes like this from a number of other respected Mormon leaders, past and (unfortunately not enough) present. We are ultimately accountable to God, not fallible men, no matter how much we respect or want to trust those called to lead us. I am NOT saying the answers will be clear--the water can be murky either way. Sometimes when going with our heart or conscience, against authority, we realize we were mistaken, and they actually did know what they were talking about. Other times, it turns out we are completely validated. The tension between the individual and the institution is a real thing--we are always faced with the dilemma and the choice of which to follow when the two clash, and we alone are responsible in the end. No matter how much we wish for the comfort of certainty and clarity, we must actually grapple and struggle with the tension! The more we practice making our own decisions, even as we make plenty of mistakes, we will be getting better at it, whereas pretending there is an easy answer (whether that is defiance or compliance) will leave us automatons.

More on parenting:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Jan 25, 2016 3:17am

The collapse of parenting: Why it’s time for parents to grow up macleans.ca When I was young, I unconsciously wanted my parents to be more firm with me--I was actually envious of kids whose parents gave them curfews! My dad was really soft-hearted, and my mom didn't want to be domineering like she felt her own mother had been, so we were totally free-range kids. Still, frugality reigned in our house of 8 kids, so we didn't end up spoiled. Talking back to adults never occurred to us either--we hadn't become disillusioned yet about the mess adults were making of the world. I wonder if my teenage and young adulthood watching screw-up after screw-up--the Vietnam War, Watergate, cops fire-hosing little black kids, Chernobyl--made me realize that growing up did not necessarily guarantee wisdom. Maybe the Information Age has been inundating us with so much evidence of our own bungling for so long that we have lost confidence in ourselves as capable adults worthy of respect--and kids have picked up on it.

Parenting:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Feb 07, 2014 12:37am

Why my kid is crying… themetapicture.com I could not stop laughing at these! That said, when my kids got to that point, I would make a real effort to hide my laughter in front of them because it makes them feel even worse. One thing it does show is that you can't reason with little kids. Their brains just aren't developed yet. If they are tired, hungry, or their routine is messed up, what brains they do have are pretty well checked out. They need comforting, not logic. Wait a few years and show these videos to them and then they'll laugh along with you :)

Politics and Trump bashing:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Dec 26, 2015 2:10pm

Obama says Trump is 'exploiting' worker fears. True? csmonitor.com This helps me understand the otherwise inexplicable appeal of this man. He's channeling economic fears and anger, and providing convenient scapegoats. The thing is, how does that make any positive difference in his supporters' everyday lives? His "solutions" are diversions that only hurt innocent people while the real problems spread unchecked. Blasting your fire hoses at the brown guy clipping your neighbor's hedge is not going to put out the fire that's burning down your own house. Getting all pumped up with Trump's bad a** attitude fills you up with nothing but hot air. Can you picture him carefully considering complex problems and weighing practical solutions? Can you see him looking beyond his nose for any long term (or even short term) consequences of his words and actions? I seem to recall we once fought a war against the kind of stuff he's pompously preaching. Fascism by any other name would still stink to high heaven.

Church callings and leaders: FMH POST

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Oct 27, 2015 2:56pm

“Woman in a (church) Meeting” feministmormonhousewives.org My sentiments, exactly! I've personally been pretty lucky in my callings in having respectful male leaders, but I have close friends and family who have experienced humiliation and real trauma under the thumb of 'unrighteousness dominion.' Of course people are human and make mistakes (and we all need the benefit of learning from our mistakes), but it's so hard to watch deep harm being done by leaders who ignore our concerns (and who consider us unfaithful for voicing them, whatever tone we use). We need to have grown-up, non-threatening, and non-patronizing discussions about this stuff because the cats probably aren't going back into the bag. Meow!

Rest in peace, Becky.

Sharman Hunter Wilson added 3 new photos. Mar 26, 2015 7:02pm

This morning, after years of serious health challenges and a month in an induced coma in a hospital in Virginia, my 39-year-old niece died peacefully. Her parents (my sister Shirley and Chuck Peck), her brother Calderwood, and two dear friends were at her bedside. She was extremely talented and could work magic with fabrics and accessories. Rest in Peace, Becky--we will miss you heart emoticon

Yay, I've got a diagnosis!

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Mar 22, 2015 7:21pm

Snip, Snap, Slurp: Misophonia Makes Them Unbearable well.blogs.nytimes.com Oh, my gosh! One reason I keep my hair long is so I can stick my fingers in my ears without people noticing. Sometimes I just have to leave the room (where I have my trusty white noise maker). It's a curse!

Immigration stance:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Nov 23, 2014 6:37pm

5 things to know about President Obama's immigration action front.moveon.org Too many good, hard-working (and tax-paying) families have lived too long in fear of being torn from home, employment, and each other under this dysfunctional Congress. Our President has been granted certain executive powers that allow him to give some of these people a bit of a reprieve. If you think this is some unbelievable offense to shake your fist at, take a lesson from the Grinch and join in the celebration instead!

Real Mormon history is much more interesting!

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared John A. Widtsoe's post. Feb 19, 2015 4:07pm

Too bad it became taboo to be so forthright, because now this is a faith-jarring shocker to so many members. Real history is always messy and we never have all the information to make perfect sense of it. In matters of real importance to our lives, our job is to give things a fair hearing before we make judgements. Whitewashed history is OK for children, but in order to have mature faith, we need to put away the simplified version and wrestle with uncomfortable realities.

Commenting on Robert Kirby's awesome column in the Salt Lake Tribune:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Apr 19, 2015 6:27pm

Kirby: Stick to the basics sltrib.com I can imagine God up there, shaking his head in discouragement at some of the ideas and words that get attributed to Him. Sniffing out nuggets of true inspiration hidden amongst all the cultural baggage is one of our most difficult spiritual challenges. Making it even harder is the fact that each of us is carrying around plenty of our own cultural baggage. Can I just put in a request for a spiritual Geiger counter?

Political rant:

Sharman Hunter Wilson posted something via The Huffington Post. Apr 29, 2015 3:10pm

House Republicans Want To Block Predatory Lending Protections For American Troops What the heck? Is this for real? Sorry, I can't hold back--all I can see right now are Hypocrites hiding behind their SuperPatriot flags and their "Support our Troops" and "In God We Trust" bumper stickers. I'm picturing Jesus going into their temple (House chamber) with his whip, driving out the blood (of the poor)--sucking money lenders. If I recall, THAT was the only thing that made Jesus lose his cool--NOT gays asking for wedding cakes and NOT US-born children begging to keep their undocumented parents from deportation. The good guys in the GOP need to clean House!

Temple wedding policy:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. May 19, 2015 4:35pm

Strange Bedfellows: Marriages and Sealings - Rational Faiths | Mormon Blog rationalfaiths.com In becoming a worldwide religion, we Mormons have seen a lot of changes in church policy. Our doctrine of continuing revelation helps us adapt in an ever-changing world. So, when it's becoming clear that the harmful effects of a policy regarding LDS temple weddings and sealings far outweigh the benefits, AND when that policy is actually NOT applied in most counties in the world (because it's illegal in most places), AND when the policy did not even exist before the 1960's (the iconoclastic 1960's can be blamed for all kinds of backlash and retrenchment), then maybe it's time for some rethinking. This is a very emotional issue--ask practically any Mormon on the street in the U.S. or Canada if they wish there were a church-sanctioned way to include everyone in Mormon weddings. Most of us have a poignant story to tell.

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Oct 15, 2015 6:17pm

Federal Report Calls For End To 'Conversion Therapy' For LGBT Youth huffingtonpost.com This will save lives--if we can admit we've been holding onto many unfounded ideas passed down to us from those who accepted the conventional "wisdom" of times past. If we can learn from our mistakes and move on without pointing fingers, so much the better. God forgive the devastation we have caused in our ignorance, and change our hearts to move toward understanding and compassion--and then beyond that to affirming and welcoming all who come with good will.

Another broken-hearted attempt to process this new church policy re: gays:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Nov 16, 2015 3:08pm

Mormons and Gays: Thoughts from a Long-Time Religious Educator patheos.com David Bokovoy is someone I look up to for his intelligent and compassionate perpective on Mormonism. His hope is that the recent policy changes will spark a backlash of LOVE toward those adversely affected. I've seen that loving backlash happening alongside the negative backlash: fellow Mormons mourning with those who mourn and comforting those who stand in need of comfort; Mormons who have gay-partnered family members or friends who cannot conceive of them as apostates to the faith; Mormons who know gay couples who value much of LDS theology and community and who are hoping to raise their children in the same way. Policies come and go as members and leaders' assumptions and worldviews align more and more closely with God's eternal purposes for all His children. We all play a part in that alignment--either by drawing us closer or further away.

Mormon LGBTQ dilemma:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Nov 17, 2015 6:09pm

#15 HANDBOOK OF INSTRUCTIONS POLICY CHANGES outinzion.org This podcast was made after the first version of the policy was made public, before the partially softened version. If you care how policies made with good intentions can adversely affect people, listen and weep. Please consider that there happen to be many LGBTQ Mormons who still believe and who love the church. If they did not have to choose between a beloved life companion and the saving ordinances of the church, they would feel safe to return to their spiritual home and family, and to raise their children here. Before the policy change, even when they themselves couldn't participate fully, they wanted their children to be a part of the family. Now, we are disowning these parents and refusing the gifts they have to offer, which are amazing and needed. We are calling them super-apostates, whose "life-style" is so aberrant and abhorrent that they cannot be trusted to bring their children up in a way that wouldn't drive a huge wedge between them and the church. (Have we ever actually been around any non-traditional families?). Since it's obvious these families are beyond the pale, it would surely be best if we not complicate things even more for these poor kids. OK, that's enough snarkiness. Anyway, such a policy might make sense when parents vehemently disagree with each other about this, but we already have a clear policy stating that children need the permission of both parents to be baptized. How is it that we feel we must especially protect children of gay couples from the "inevitable" confusion and disharmony that would result from a church upbringing, even when the parents are pleading for them to be included? I can't wrap my head or my heart around that argument. Our theology has one of the most generous, expansive, universal, and loving views of salvation. Can't we adjust our policies to reflect the very best of Mormonism instead of painting ourselves into a miserly, narrow, and cold hearted corner?

Mormon stuff:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Nov 18, 2015 2:41pm

Mormonism at its best: The sacrament of helping other people move - Flunking Sainthood janariess.religionnews.com One of a hundred reasons why Mormons who feel bad about certain policies don't "just leave." My family's move from Illinois to Colorado 28 years ago is another good example. I got very sick with food poisoning a few days before we were to leave, and I ended up sick and weak in bed on moving day, watching members of our DeKalb Ward--men, women, and young people--packing and loading up stuff for our young family of six. We had called the Bishop of the ward in the Boulder area where we hoped to live (we hadn't found a place after two reconnaissance trips out). We pulled into the chapel parking lot with our U-haul and Ram van, and church guys we had never seen before showed up to help us unload most of our stuff into a storage unit. When we finally got into a house, they were there again, helping us move stuff from storage into our house. My husband, kids, and I have been on the giving end, too--scores of times. It's a goodbye/hello ritual that I cherish!

I have pretty strong feelings about the treatment of LGBTQ people. Here's a Facebook post:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Jan 27, 2016 4:55am

No, Franklin Graham, LGBTQ Children Are Not The Enemy patheos.com Have we forgotten that these kids were once our precious babies? Can we imagine how confusing and frightening it must be for lgbtq youth being raised in a traditional religious home that listens to the likes of Franklin Graham? How devastating must it be for these children to realize that they do not fit, neither can they change themselves to fit into the only mold deemed "natural" and acceptable by everyone they love and look up to, including God? Can you imagine how difficult it would be to risk rejection and, in a cry for help, come out to their parents? How would it be if, instead of allowing their initial shock to escalate into hot-headed condemnation and banishment, these parents sat down and really listened to their children. Maybe they could ignore the strident voices and take a little time to think and to get more information about it. Could they put away disproven theories and unexamined assumptions and be open to new understandings and reliable research? How might it change their perspective if they discovered there was no one to blame for any of this--no moral failures or bad choices made by anyone. They might come to that conclusion after some real pondering: our child tells us these feelings and dreams come unbidden, consistently, and out of her heart of hearts. It is not a choice for her. Can anyone really choose their feelings or their core identity? Why would anyone actually choose to have feelings that bring on such turmoil and rejection and that seem to jeopardize eternal prospects? After learning about more likely explanations and coming to understand what really matters, mothers could confound the "religious" hypocrites : "As my son grew inside my body, did he choose his genes, along with all the posible chemical or biological triggers that passed back and forth between us at crucial stages of his development? If not, then how is it right to condemn him out of hand? You don't know him or how he lives his life or how he treats others. Those are the things he does have a choice in, and that is where accountability lies. Besides, HE'S JUST A KID, for heaven's sake!" Rant over.

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Nov 22, 2013 9:12pm

This is my memory from the day John F. Kennedy was shot: Total Domination  | American Journalism Review ajr.org Behind the scenes in Dallas 50 years ago--great article. I was 10 years old and I can see three scenes in my mind: 1) the loudspeaker in the art room as it came on announcing that President Kennedy had been shot, 2) the radio on the school bus saying that the President was dead, and 3) getting off the bus, running down the hill of my front yard, then upstairs into the big hall where we kept the ironing board and pile of clothes waiting to be ironed, flinging myself onto the soft pile and sobbing my heart out.

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Dec 10, 2013 11:49am

Race and the Priesthood lds.org This statement on LDS.org is the most comprehensive so far in decrying rascism, especially in regards to the priesthood restriction policy (ended in 1978) practiced in the church for so many years. Mormon friends: please read and share so the pernicious folklore rationalizing that policy is finally relegated to the past, where it belongs. The harm done by these ideas has been incalculable to those in as well as outside the church, to non-blacks as well as blacks. God forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

February 28

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared Beauty Redefined's photo. Feb 28, 2014 11:32am

"Modest is Hottest" kind of defeats the whole purpose, doesn't it? If girls are supposed to dress modestly to keep guys from having "inappropriate thoughts" about them, then telling girls that modesty is "hot" is turning around and telling them that dressing modestly will make boys have inappropriate thoughts about them. In other words, boys will have inappropriate thoughts no matter how you dress. I kind of don't think that's the message they meant to convey.

Here's another Facebook post:

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Aug 07, 2014 2:45am

Mormon missionaries and the stigma of early return - Flunking Sainthood janariess.religionnews.com So much cultural and personal baggage regarding this issue! I hope the attention this has been getting lately will smooth the way for those who need to come home early. It is especially critical for those suffering from mental health issues. It's well known that many of these illnesses and disorders begin to show up in the late teens/early 20's; and that they are often triggered by stressful situations. Mission life is so radically different from anything young people have ever experienced, it can throw even the healthiest of them for a loop. For those predisposed to mental health challenges, it can pull the rug right out from under their feet and send them into a downward slide that can take years to recover from. The sooner they get help, the better, and if that means going home for treatment, so be it. I've seen up close and personal what can happen when someone feels obligated to "stick it out" instead of asking for timely help, and I've been slammed by the resultant landslide that has taken down with it so many of us who stood close by. Please remember, Mormon folks, (as I switch metaphors) that we're all in this boat together, and we need to toss this heavy baggage off to keep us afloat!

I'm experimenting with putting some Facebook posts of mine up on my blog. Here's one from 2014 where I comment on an Exponent article.

Sharman Hunter Wilson shared a link. Aug 09, 2014 2:41pm

I Hope You Stay the-exponent.com I know my capacity for empathy is limited by my own experiences (and lack thereof). I, like Melody, have so many reasons for hoping people stay, but I am also painfully aware of my capacity to pour salt on the wounds of the deeply wounded by expressing that hope. It's a conundrum of the highest level because when we love something, we want to share it with those we love. The fact that sometimes our own life-saving elixir could be poison to someone else is more than most of us can comprehend or even bear. I wonder if thinking of it in terms of something like food allergies might help. I love shrimp, peanut butter, and strawberries, and they are good and wholesome for my body, but would I offer them to someone deathly allergic, hoping they would eat them with as much gusto as I do? People sometimes get over allergies, but perhaps I'm showing my insensitivity and bias by thinking that would be a good thing. So much for metaphors. The more I try to understand anything, it seems, the more I realize that I see through a glass darkly, and the more I long to see as God sees and love as God loves.